In the small town where I grew up in the 1960’s and 70’s, there was only one public park. It had all the usual dangerous playground equipment of that era - swings with rusted chains, a merry-go-round that induced nausea, monkey bars that dared us to defy common sense, and towering over everything, a scorching hot metal slide. But of all the equipment on that playground, I was most mesmerized by the teeter-totters. They were wooden and painted green and had metal handles that I would cling to for dear life as my bare feet dangled precariously above the ground.
The teeter totters left specks of green paint on my shorts and an occasional splinter in my butt, but I was addicted to them. I loved the feeling of power I had when I was on the ground and my partner on the other end was in the air, depending on my goodwill for their safety and wellbeing. I equally loved the somewhat scary thrill I felt when I was the one in the air, depending on the goodwill of my partner.
Teeter-tottering required a great deal of trust because if the partner in the position of power decided to abandon their post, the partner in the air would crash painfully to the ground, bruising their tailbone and jarring their spine. There was a give and take of power in the teeter-totter experience that made the whole thing work. If ever one partner refused to do their part and relinquish power, the game was over.
Sometimes I picture the United States government as a teeter-totter with conservatives on one end and liberals on the other. The two sides have vastly different perspectives on life and different values, but most importantly of all, the two sides have very different fears about the future.
For the most part, a human being’s perspective on life, their values and their fears are not something they freely choose. There are two factors that make us who we are. The first factor is our DNA – the genes we inherited from our parents, which they inherited from their ancestors and so on and so forth all the way back to when we were particles floating around in the universe, or if you prefer, blueprints in the mind of God. The second factor that determines who we are is our early childhood experiences and our relationships with our primary caregivers during our formative years of life.
Since there are literally no human beings in the United States or anywhere else on earth who were able to choose their ancestors, their DNA or their early childhood experiences, it seems both cruel and senseless for us to condemn each other for the different ways in which we view the world. We can work hard to open our minds and see from other perspectives, but at our deepest core, we are who we are based on circumstances and factors that we did not choose. Some people may find this depressing, but I find it deeply liberating. I am who I am and there is absolutely no reason for me to feel embarrassed, guilty or ashamed of myself, my beliefs or my perspectives.
When it comes to political parties, I identify as a liberal Democrat. This does not mean that I think I am right, and that conservative Republicans are wrong, or that I see myself as good and conservatives as evil. It just means that based on my genetic makeup and my early experiences in life, I see life from a largely liberal perspective. I hold mostly liberal values about what is important in life, and I share the same intrinsic fears for the future as other liberal minded people.
Since I live in a “red” state however, most of the people in my community are conservative Republicans. My best friend is a conservative Republican. I don’t see life the way she sees life, but I know that she is a good person and that she loves me for who I am. Because I trust her, I know that if I am in a weak or vulnerable position, she will use any power that she has to help me. Though she may let me down at times, as all human beings do, I trust her to let me down gently and I know she will never abandon me. Our relationship is not based on shared opinions or even shared beliefs; it is based on trust.
Although liberals and conservatives may never be able to see life from each other’s perspectives, I wish we could find some way to stop seeing each other as enemies and start seeing each other as equal partners.
We may never trust each other’s political leaders or political parties, but maybe we can take a step forward in healing our country if we can repair our trust in the neighbors, family members, co-workers and friends on the other end of the political spectrum.
We can only keep our beloved country in balance by giving and conceding power gracefully, never by clinging to it, abusing it, or using it to hurt or demean each other.
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